Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
Step 11
Step 12
Give Yourself Time
Follow Jesus' Steps

Step 9:
Come Out And Accept Yourself

You can't change your world from a closet!  Accept yourself and connect with others like yourself.

Matthew 5:16: "Let your light shine before the people in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your God in heaven."

Ephesians 4:15, 25: "Speak the truth in love… Laying aside lies, speak truth each one of you with your neighbor, for we are members of one another."


Here is some of my brochure on "Feeling Good About Yourself: A Guide to Coming Out."


  You Cannot Predict How Others Will React.

Coming out can be very scary and threatening to you.  It can also be very difficult and threatening to the persons you come out to.  Pray about it.  Ask God to give you the words and to show you how to handle it.  Remember that when you tell your parents, family, boss and others that you are gay or lesbian, they do not have the same mental picture that you do.  Their minds have been filled with homophobic images from preachers, talk shows, and media anti gay propaganda.  Prepare to be surprised.  With God's help you can handle it! Sometimes the reaction is pleasant, sometimes not.

Joe said that he dreaded telling his mother that he was gay.  When he finally told her, she responded by saying, "I understand. Years ago I was in love with another woman myself!" Allen, however, said that when he was 16 years old and asked his father for advice about how to handle being gay, his father said, "Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger!"

2.  Find Caring and Supportive People.

You need acceptance and encouragement in coming out.  Find other lesbian and gay people and develop a support network.  Join or start a spiritual support group.  See the material on "Start Your Own Group." Remember that other people need your encouragement too.

Coming out is a process that takes time.  You begin by facing and accepting the truth about yourself.  Then you tell at least one other person.  When you finally settle this in yourself, you will feel so much better!  As you gain self confidence, you can help others who face the same issues and problems.

3.  Come Out on the Basis of a Need to Know.

Before you come out to others, consider carefully why you are doing it.  Why do they need to know?  Why do you need to tell them? Coming out can hurt you and others.  Can you handle the results?  Think through how you will tell your truth.  God will empower you to tell your truth.  Remember, however, that the truth is seen as true only when you "speak the truth in love."

4.  You Cannot Go Back into the Closet.

Once you are "out of the closet," you cannot really turn back.  Some people try to deny their sexual orientation and play a game of hide-and-seek with themselves and others.  You may have done this for a while yourself.  Many of us have.  If you are uncertain of your sexual orientation, work through it before you come out, even to yourself.

If you need counseling to deal with your sexual orientation, find a gay and lesbian friendly counselor who will help you to face and deal with your issues without judging and condemning you.  Contact the nearest Metropolitan Community Church (listed in the local phone directories) or UFMCC Headquarters (310-360-8640) for information, or you can contact the author of this site at rtruluck@nuvox.net .  Knowing and accepting your sexual identity sets the stage for your future self esteem and peace of mind.  Don't panic, but don't neglect dealing with it, either.

No matter how you feel about your sexual orientation, you are not alone!  God loves you, accepts you and is always with you.  Read Philippians 4:6-7 for encouragement.

5. Feel Good About Yourself.

Once you have come out, feel good about yourself.  Celebrate!  You have crossed a great barrier.  Good for you!  Stop and thank God for helping you do it.  There are many levels of coming out.  Go on to the next level.  Be intentional about who you will tell next.  Think it through.  You be in control.  Don't let other people or unexpected events push you out.  Enjoy being yourself.  God wants you to be happy and to love yourself.  God will help you to know what to say and how to say it.  Always speak your truth in love.

Further discussion of Step 9 can be found in my book Steps To Recovery From Bible Abuse in the following Lessons

(Click on the Bible references to see them.)

Matthew 5:14-16; Ephesians 4:15, 22-25; Hebrews 6:18

Philippians 4:1-23

Luke 19:28-48

Matthew 10:7-31

On to Step 10

Update for February 8, 2004

One of my friends told of his church conversion experience.  He was praying for salvation.  One brother on the left was urging him "Hold on, brother. Hold on!" And the sister on the right was saying: "Let go, brother. Let go!"  So he figured if he could hold on and let go at the same time he would be saved!  So he was.  (Thanks to Rev. Troy Perry for this.)  Thus begins the mystery of spiritual personal experience.

Personal spiritual life and growth are a mystery and are different from one individual to another.  No two people have exactly the same spiritual pilgrimage, and this is one reason that we can all learn so much from each other if we will share and listen.  And this also is the reason why we cannot force our experience on anybody else.

Being your real self with honesty and enthusiasm is always a great triumph.  I greatly enjoyed this statement this week in Planet Out news:

"I'm now called a gay activist and I quite like the label. It sounds rather important -- more important than just being an actor -- don't you think? No one ever thinks actors have anything important to contribute, and for the most part, that assumption is entirely correct, I included. ... Also, coming out was a huge relief from that dreadful, stressful sense of lying -- or not being completely honest with the people around you. All that angst is gone now."

    --Gay actor Sir Ian McKellen to the Vancouver Sun, Jan. 9.

Sir Ian is one of the most prominent and honored actors of our time.  His nominations and awards are many.  I have always enjoyed his movies and especially his portrayal of powerful men in "Gods and Monsters,"  "X-Men," and as the super wizard in "Lord of the Rings."

See my material on "Coming Out" in link below.  It deserves a second look.


I usually say "Let go and move on," but there is also a lot of reality in holding on and moving on.  Don't let go of who you really are.  Don't let go of God.  Don't let go of your best self.  Hold on to your to your values and your dreams.  Then move on.  Let go of the negative spirits that tempt and limit you.  Let go of your fear and jealousy.  Let go of your pride and selfish ambition.  Make a list.  It will be a long one.  Let go of hate and despair.  Let go and move on.

By all means, move on!  Don't wallow in self pity and despair.  Wallowing is never attractive or productive.  Moving on, however, is both attractive and productive!

When I moved to Atlanta in 1981 after I was dismissed from the Charleston, SC, Baptist University where I was Professor of Religion, I went to First MCC where Rev. Jimmy Brock was pastor.  My life and my emotions were in turmoil.  I had been outed by a trusted former lover.  Jimmy became a great friend to me and helped me to "hold on and let go"!  His favorite admonition to me was, "Buddy, don't throw another pity party!"  My "woe is me" song got tiresome really fast.  So I learned to sing another one, which was the Bible Studies that later became my web site and book.


Real life is complicated.  One problem with religion is that religion always tries to over simplify everything and in the process becomes irrelevant and useless.  Reality is never drawn in sharp contrasts of right and wrong or good and bad.  "There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it ill behooves any of us to criticize the rest of us!"

To hold on and let go at the same time sounds quite contradictory, but it isn't.  It is the reality that we live with every day.  We hold these truths to be self-evident that all people are created equal and have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  We also let go of prejudice, tyranny, mean spirited criticisms, anger, fear, despair and self-loathing.  We always hold on and let go at the same time.

But do we also always "move on"?  Not necessarily.  Sometimes we lack the courage either to hold on or to let go.  Sometimes we are unclear as to where to go when we do move on.  What a dilemma!  Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Paul said in Romans 7:24-25)  Jesus Christ was the answer for Paul.  How about for you?  Read all of Romans chapters 5 through 8.  (See link below for Romans 8.)


I want so much to be accepted and loved that I usually hold on to really destructive negative relationships long beyond the time that they are obviously over!  I imagine that you are much too mature ever to do that, of course, but I do.  I have great difficulty in letting go of negative people in my life.  I have sometimes let other people control me and drive me into despair before I was willing to make any kind of break at all.  Usually breaking off from negative people comes through circumstances and not through my own willful decision to let go and move on.

Jesus had the same problem.  Jesus let Judas stay close to him and have control over him for much too long!  The relationship of Jesus to Judas is very important.  See my discussions of Judas in lessons 28 and 38 of my book.  See also the relationship of Jesus to Peter in the conflicts described in the "Great Confession" story in Matthew 16.  See link below.  (See how Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber pictured the relationship of Jesus and Judas in "Jesus Christ Super Star.")  See the information about Judas in the Gospel of John in links below.


You will never regret doing the loving thing in a relationship.  Sometimes the loving thing is to let go and move on.  Sometimes the loving thing is to hold on and move on.  The main thing is to keep moving.  There are no rules or requirements for love.  Your heart has to tell you what to do.  Follow Jesus, who said to his friends: "I give you a new commandment that you love one another just as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this everybody will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)  See link to John 12 and 13 below.


Your own personal struggle to find and follow the will of God for you is never easy.  Far too many people want to tell you what you should and should not do.  Only you can decide what is best for you, and you have plenty of help from the Spirit of Jesus and from the presence of the image of God within you.  Look within and listen to your inner convictions and the still small voice that God already has placed in your mind and heart.  You do not need any person, religious organization or ancient book to tell you who you are and what you can do to hold on, let go and move on.

Rembert Truluck
February 8, 2004

Thanks to R.R. and to A.R. for some much needed financial help with this ministry.  As you know, the Internet is becoming cluttered and sometimes slowed to a crawl by worms and viruses.  Keeping my web site on and keeping the Internet functional is an increasing challenge.  Any financial help you can give to me at this time is greatly appreciated.

Thanks to Chris Purdom for 9 years of information and inspiration on religion at critpath.  Chris has decided to close this very helpful list.  I have benefited greatly by the special work of Barbara and Chris Purdom.  Chris always sent my updates out on his list also.  Thank you Chris for all you have done for me and multitudes of others.  Chris Purdom continues to operate the site for Interfaith Working Group (IWG): http://www.iwgonline.org/

Coming Out
Romans 8

Judas in the Gospel of John

John 12 and 13

John 15

Jesus and Peter

Update for 11/13/2002:

Special thanks to every one of you who wrote to me expressing your concern and prayers about my surgery!  The surgery was a complete success.  All of the cancer was removed and my surgeons stitched me perfectly so that there will be almost no scar on my nose.  My surgeon said that I will be gorgeous!  I replied that the only way I could be gorgeous would be for him to do a total face transplant for me!  But I am very grateful for the success of the procedure.

While I was recovering from surgery, I got behind in answering my e-mail.  If you wrote to me and I did not reply, please write again.

We also have adopted two wonderful baby kittens.  To see their picture:  Click HERE.


The election this month gave a slight majority to the Republican Party in Congress.  Somehow this has been interpreted by many as a "mandate" for the President and all of his extreme conservative policies.  Bush is still a President elected by a minority of the voters.  His right-wing religious supporters and advocates are still wrong and dangerous to our freedom.

The recent election is simply a reminder to all of us that we have to do whatever we can as individuals to get the truth out to as many people as possible.  You can begin by "coming out" and identifying yourself for who you really are.  You can encourage others and support others in their own process of coming out.  See  my web site material on coming out.  You cannot change the world from the closet!


The disastrous collapse of the national economy during the past two years has had a devastating impact on LGBT people.  When millions of people lose their jobs, you can be sure that a large percentage of the first to be fired are openly Gay and Lesbian people.  As economic troubles multiply, contributions decline to services for people with HIV/AIDS and other medical and social problems.

When Gay men with AIDS lose their income and medical benefits, the result can be painful and deadly.  Cutting the economic security for Gay and Lesbian people can amount to a highly refined governmental form of genocide.  Every day I receive e-mail from GLBT people who have suffered pain and rejection from their own families because of the abusive religious conditioning of their parents and brothers and sisters.  The frustration and anger of our LGBT brothers and sisters is catastrophic in many multitudes of personal lives.  Self-destructive attitudes and actions are the frequent result of rejection and abandonment of LGBT children and youth.


The homophobic legalistic abusive religious establishment continues to make great gains in political power and in public access on television, newspapers, magazines, the Internet, and thousands of church pulpits.  Public opinion against Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transsexual people continues in spite of the accurate information that is readily available to any honest, clear thinking person from thousands of reliable sources on the Internet, in publications, and from the various legal, medical and psychological professions.

Religion has so polluted the social atmosphere in America than the truth is being suffocated and the rancid air of abusive misinformed religion is choking the minds and distorting the hearts of millions of people every day.


Think a long time before you give your support to any traditional form of religion, no matter what it calls itself.  The medieval thinking and forms of worship that dominate abusive religions today are barricades against the truth and hindrances to any realistic personal experience with the God, who made you in God's image, and with the Spirit of Jesus, that is already within you.

Don't let any religion jerk you around and convince you to reject yourself.  You are accepted and beloved of God, no matter who you are.  God's unconditional inclusive love is clearly extended to all people without reservations according to the words and actions of Jesus in the Gospels.

The religious establishment contends in many forms that it is called of God to convert the world to certain points of view and spiritual demands.  When I say that I don't believe in your God it does not mean that I don't believe in God.  It simply means that I can see through your deception and misinformation and refuse to honor your trashed version of Christianity that you have been conditioned to demand and defend.


More than ever, I am convinced that small groups meeting in homes and unfettered by traditional religious controls can open new redemptive doors to multitudes of people who are willing to give the time and effort to study, dialogue and meditation in a new beginning of churchless discipleship in following Jesus.

How have we become brainwashed into believing that we have to have some kind of ecclesiastical authority in order to follow the spiritual path that really fits us today?  It is high time for all of us to let go and start over.  Let go of everything that tries to do your thinking for you.  Let go of all inappropriate religious authorities and powers.  Let go of traditions that don't really fit you today.  Let go of anything that separates you from the love of God and from your own self-acceptance as the child of God.


Your hope for the future does not rest in any political party or in any current movement, no matter how effective it may seem now.  Your hope for the future rests in God and in the Spirit of Jesus, who already dwells within you.  Your decisions are totally up to you.  Nobody else can decide the spiritual direction you should take.  God is with you, as promised.  Let God show you what to do and what path to take.

You already have your own personal answers and empowerment within you.  You do not have to go anywhere to find God.  God is already as close to you as the air you breathe.  In fact, the air you breathe is evidence of the presence of God with you and within you.  You are alive because God breathed into you the breath of life and you became a "living soul".


You already have all you need.  I cannot give you any more than you already have.  All I can do is to remind you of who you really are and encourage you to trust God to guide and empower you to become the person God created you to be.  You have the Spirit of God.  Does the Spirit of God have you?  That is the only question that you have to answer.

Rembert Truluck

See my book on "Steps to Recovery from Bible Abuse" for accurate information, guidance in starting a home study group, and material for a weekly series of lessons for a full year of group meetings:


Sunday, June 24, 2001, is the thirty-second anniversary of the Stonewall Riot on June 28, 1969, that sparked the GLBT revolution and our journey out of the darkness of the closet and into the light of truth and freedom that is every person's inalienable right under the U.S. Constitution and before God.


Pride is a way of life.  "Pride" is defined in Webster's as "a reasonable or justifiable self-respect."  Pride in the form of self-respect and self-esteem has often been an elusive quality of life for multitudes of LGBT people who have been victims of misinformation and spiritual violence from many people and groups.

My mission in life is to help my LGBT sisters and brothers feel good about being themselves and quit hurting themselves and each other.  Accurate convincing information has been the method of this mission from the beginning.

Today, I received a letter from a new gay friend in South Africa who had been given my material and was encouraged to accept and feel good about himself.  He has recovered from his low self-esteem that had led to a suicide attempt.


Pride, in the form of arrogance and the rejection of others, is often condemned in the Bible.  Healthy self-acceptance and self-esteem, however, are not.  You are made in the image of God.  You are not a mistake.  You were not created as you are by accident.  God always acts intentionally and for a good purpose.  If you believe in God, you can believe in yourself.  In accepting yourself, you are accepting God.  It's that simple!

Abusive religion has done more to undermine the self-esteem of Lesbians and Gays that any other factor in our culture.  Misinformed religion has produced self-destructive behavior and suicide in our midst, and we have no choice but to challenge and change it for the sake of our very survival.  This is not just a polite debate about the Bible, religion, politics or family values.  It is a matter of life or death, the ultimate battle for reality and truth.


Accept and celebrate who you are!  Help others to do the same.

Furman University in Greenville, SC, where I graduated in 1956, just approved a policy of granting same-sex partners the medical and other benefits that are provided for all employees of the college!  Furman is the first college in South Carolina to do this.  This action was possible because in 1992 Furman Trustees were able to disconnect from the control of the South Carolina Baptist Convention and begin to select their own trustees.

A lot of progress has been made.  This news made me recall a sad experience for me at Furman when I was a student from 1952-56.  A well-liked student named Bruce who was active in fraternity and college life was outed as gay and forced to leave the University.  I knew that I was a closeted homosexual myself, and I identified with the pain, shame and embarrassment heaped upon Bruce.  I remember how I was grieved for him and for what was threatened against all of us who were homosexual, though we did not know each other back in those days.


Just as we have much to celebrate in our increasing visibility and acceptance in our society, we also have much to fear and avoid in the growing harshness of misinformed abusive religion that is used by the largest religious bodies in our country to diminish, ridicule and condemn us on the basis of "what the Bible says."  Religion has turned our own parents and families against us.  Abusive religion has infiltrated politics and turned our elected representatives against us.  Abusive religion has found a persistent uncorrected voice against us through radio and television that is proclaimed nonstop 24 hours a day 7 days a week on thousands of stations.

Most deadly of all, abusive religion has turned many of us against ourselves producing depression, dangerous lifestyles, suicidal thinking and death.  Pointing out these facts to the rest of the world is both our privilege and our obligation.  As long as homophobia is the deadliest disease of our age, we have no choice but to expose its evil powers and do whatever it takes to conquer and eliminate it.

We now have the clear support of the American Medical Association and all other national professional associations of psychology, psychiatry and law.


Write letters, make phone calls, sit down with your parents and explain things, talk with your pastor or other religious professional you know, tell your story wherever you can.  Be yourself.  Be true to yourself.  Accept who you really are and celebrate what God created you to be.  Most of all: come out of the closet and encourage others to do the same.  When you come out, you will feel better about yourself than ever before in your life.

Special Gay Pride thanks to all of you who receive these updates.  By letting me share with you, you have ministered to me and encouraged me beyond anything you can imagine!  Thanks for listening to me and giving me the opportunity to listen to you whenever you write.

Rembert Truluck

Special news report today (6/23/01): Belgium today has joined the Netherlands in making legal marriage available to same-sex couples.

Update for Sunday, 1/11/04


Rites of passage have been part of every culture and in every age of human experience.  Arnold van Gennep in his book on "Rites of Passage" (available at Amazon.com) outlined the basic concept for us in a seminary seminar that I enjoyed and that was led by Dr. Wayne E. Oates, Professor of Psychology of Religion, and by Dr. John Carlton, Professor of Preaching.  Dr. Mahan Siler also was in this seminar and later performed he first known holy union for two gay men in a Southern Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina.  Dr. Siler's new book telling the story of the Holy Union for same-sex couples that he began at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church is soon to be published.

We studied the rituals associated with the birth of a child, the entrance of a child into adulthood, marriage, divorce, choice of vocation, serious illness, death, grief, etc.  It was a very helpful practical look at the kinds of experiences that we all face as pastors and leaders in the churches.  The seven sacraments of the Roman Catholic Church provided a patter for this study.  Mountains of literature are available on this subject.


Van Gennep compared the rite of passage to going through a door or portal.  There is a time of separation, a time of passage through the door and a time of reentry on the other side of the door.  This is dramatically illustrated by the rite of passage in some primitive cultures by which a boy becomes a man by killing a lion or by some other clearly defined act.  The boy moves from the house of the women with his mother into the house of the men by this highly refined and culturally demanded act of passage from boy to man.  The Jewish bar mitzvah is also a rite of passage from boy to man.

Dr. Wayne Oates said that one rite of passage that clearly marks a move into responsible adulthood in our culture is getting a driver's license.  This allows the boy or girl to become independent and free to travel beyond the control of their parents and to be on their own in a new liberating sense.  Dr. Oates suggested that pastors find a way to help young people celebrate this event and "rite of passage" of getting a driver's license!


The most obvious rites of passage for GLBT people is the process of "coming out" at the various levels in which this takes place.  (See my web site and book material on Step 9.)  The first step in coming out is to come out to yourself.  You don't have to come out to God.  God already knows you are gay, because God made you that way!  Then you come out to at least one other person, to your friends, parents, extended family, at work, etc.  Then you come out by joining GLBT groups like MCC, the Gay Center, Names Project Quilting group, or become a GLBT activist in politics, religion, community activities, etc.

One rite of passage for me when I moved to Atlanta after I left the Baptist College in Charleston was the first time I went to a gay bar.  It was Bulldogs on Peachtree St. and I later move to an apartment half a block away.  My first trip to a gay bar was awful!  I felt like wallpaper and spoke to nobody, and nobody spoke to me.  But it was the beginning of a new life through a door I could never return to enter again.


Last week I received an e-mail letter from a gay man who has been writing to me frequently about his process of accepting himself and feeling good about himself.  The subject of his letter was "I AM OUT!!!"  He had finally come out to his parents.  It was a wonderful letter of celebrating his new found sense of being his true self.  It was a "rite of passage" into a new happier world.   I rejoice with him and with many thousands of others who have told me of similar experiences of passing through the "coming out" door into the brave new world of being themselves and accepting themselves for the valuable and positive people that they are as GLBT children of the Creator.

When I was pastor of MCC Nashville, we had a group study and discussion at my apartment every Wednesday evening.  We discussed coming out in one of our sessions.  A man spoke up and told his experience of coming out to his mother.  He told his mother that he was gay because he had a new boyfriend and wanted her to meet him.  His mother's response was unexpected and totally supportive.  She said, "I understand, son, I was once in love with another woman myself!"  So his mother's response to his coming out was to come out to him as a lesbian!  You never know ahead of time what the response of your parents will be when you come out to them.

I have also known young men in Atlanta who came out to their parents and were told to leave and never come home again!  One of my gay friends in Atlanta told his father that he had a problem and wanted to discuss it with him.  When he told his dad that he was gay, his father said his advice was to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger!  Needless to say, the boy left his home in northern Georgia and went to Atlanta.  He had no marketable skills and had not finished high school.  He had not had time to grow up.  He was a "throw away child" and he lived from place to place with older men.  Later, when I moved to Nashville, I learned that he had AIDS, and he may be dead now.


If you are part of the GLBT community, you have many opportunities to help others travel the distance to and through the door of coming out, the door of entering into and leaving relationships, and other "rites of passage" that you and others are facing at this time

As I write this, I am both leaving and entering into a relationship, and the complications that this activity presents are truly staggering.  You may be dealing with the same kinds of things.  Whatever you are experiencing, you are being prepared to help others deal better with the same thing!  Nothing is happening to you by accident.  The Creator who made you and is using you to make a better world is giving you a path that leads you into adventures you never before imagined and that leads you down "the road less traveled."

But you are not alone.  Many of us are traveling along the same path with you and understand and support you in what is happening to you.  You are part of a great company of committed people who are marching to a different drummer and who are able to see a bright and beautiful future for all people everywhere.  You keep going because you have no other choice.  The doors are being flung open before you as you move along.

Trust your instincts.  God put them there.  You already know everything you need to know to go through that next door.

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me,
And your rod and your staff will comfort me."

Rembert Truluck

Coming Out
See also my material on "Same Sex Marriage"

Update for Halloween 2004

When I was growing up in Clinton, South Carolina, we always had a big community Halloween Carnival at the local armory.  This event was fun and was a time to see friends and family and enjoy food, costumes, contests and the usual small town celebration that went with special days.

This coming weekend I will probably join the thousands of GLBT people who gather every year in the Castro to celebrate Halloween San Francisco style, which means exaggerated and outrageous!  Why is Halloween such a big event in the Gay Community?  Is it because so many of us have had to "wear a mask" to hide our true identity for most of our lives?  Or is it just another opportunity to have a party!  Probably it is for many reasons.


Wearing a "mask" is serious business.  The New Testament word "hypocrite" is from the Greek word for "mask" and means that "hypocrites" pretend to be something that that they are not.  See Matthew 23 for a detailed discussion of hypocrisy by Jesus.  You might also like to read again the Edgar Allen Poe short story: "The Masque of the Red Death."  (See links below.)

"Coming out" as a LGBT person means taking off the mask.  It can be a great relief.  It can also be a great disaster.  See my material on "Coming Out" in my website and book.  Coming out regarding your sexual orientation is far more than just "taking off the mask".  Coming out involves your own self-image and self-esteem, your relationships with family and friends, and can have a profound effect on every dimension of your life.  Your occupation, your religion, your reputation, and even your safety as an individual can be at stake.

It is far better to plan and take the initiative to come out on your own terms than to be "outed" by somebody else, as I was in 1981.  Read all of my website material on "Coming Out" and "My Story."


When my children were young, we took them to neighborhood homes on Halloween to wear their masks and costumes and let our friends see them and give treats.  One feature of this event that really sticks in my mind is how in the dark, the children could not see very well, and with the masks on they would often trip over shrubbery and other obstacles that they otherwise would avoid.

Wearing the mask of being in the closet as a GLBT person can be just as distracting and threatening for you.  Your mask not only obscures you own face and who you really are; it also can blind you to what is going on around you.


At one time, coming out as a Christian in the Roman Empire was as dangerous as coming out as a homosexual is today.  When Constantine made Christianity the religion of the Empire, this suddenly changed.  Today, the question for you and me is not just coming out as a Christian, but it is the question of what do you mean by "Christian."  Is a Christian a legalistic closed minded fundamentalist, or is a Christian simply one who follows Jesus in loving, accepting and affirming all people as having equal value before God and in your world?

The question is not just, "Will the real Jesus stand up," but is, "Will the real GLBT Christian stand up!"  I get as much abusive critical e-mail from ignorant closed minded fundamentalist "Christians" as ever.  One of the greatest problems I see world-wide is the powerful destructive forces of religious fundamentalism to mislead and abuse GLBT people in every culture and every society.

Misinformed religious zealots from multitudes of churches have infected every "mission field" in the world with the ignorance and legalism of traditional Christianity and have made life miserable and sometimes impossible for LGBT people throughout the world.


But religion won't!  Religion is always a binding and limiting force that is based on a rejection of logical objective realistic practical thinking and that fights modern science and resists and rejects changes that could set suffering people free from the bondage of wearing "The Mask of Sanity".  The book: "The Mask of Sanity" is by Dr. Hervey Cleckley, who is a partner with Dr. Corbet Thigpen and co-author of "The Three Faces of Eve".  See links below.  (If you look up Corbet Thigpen on Google, you will be directed to my website material on Dr. Thigpen's opinion to me about being gay!)

Wearing a mask throughout your life blinds you to who you are and limits greatly your relationships and communication with others.  Masks always interfere with reality.  If you want to see God, look in a mirror.  You are already made in the image of God.  If you want to see Jesus, look at the person next to you.  "Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you have done it unto me."  Jesus in Matthew 25:35-40.

Let this Halloween be a liberating experience for you.  Take off the mask so that you can see clearly and so that others can see you clearly and recognize in you the love and truth of Jesus that you represent in your world.

Rembert Truluck
201 W. Washington St. #805
Greenville, SC 29601

See the complete text and other information related to "Masque of the Red Death":

See Dr. Hervey Cleckley's book "The Mask of Sanity" summary:

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